Personal Log of Leonard McCoy, Year Two
by Avirra
Summary: Second year into the log of the CMO of the good ship Enterprise. The T rating is for the occasional profanity/situations. As with the first set, the goal is 365 entries of 100 words each.
1. Stardate 2261:001

Stardate 2261.001

Jim came to my office and parked his tuchas on my desk. His first topic is why I'm restarting this log - it really doesn't take that long out of my day and keeping a log did help me with my year-end paperwork.

We also ended up having a fairly lengthy talk about acceptable losses, but we came to an agreement. Yes, we both realize that some folks onboard aren't going to make it to the end of the mission, but neither one of us intend to let it happen without one helluva fight.


	2. Stardate 2261:003

Stardate 2261.003

Routine inspection today in Sickbay. I have to say, when Christine does an end of the year cleaning, that woman is thorough. Not that either of us will stand for a mess in Sickbay, but the current shine comes close to requiring eye protection for when the lights come on. Our inventory is in line with our usage and well within the parameters for where we should be at this point.

Of course, those parameters are really only educated guesses. Once we return from five years out, the next ship will have real data to go by.


	3. Stardate 2261:005

Stardate 2261.005

First incident of the year. Well, knew our streak of only minor injuries wouldn't last. Not a huge surprise that it happened in Engineering - Ensign Pearlman got startled by a loud banging behind him and forgot where he was. Cracked his skull on the overhang he was working underneath - knocked himself out. Another ensign nearly had a heart attack over the blood. We finally calmed him down by explaining that head wounds tend to bleed badly even when they're minor ones. As for Pearlman, poor kid has a headache I wouldn't wish on anyone.


	4. Stardate 2261:008

Stardate 2261.008

I had kept Pearlman overnight for observation, so Scotty came by this morning to give the kid a good once over himself. When I told Scotty that Pearlman be fine for return to partial duty today and full time tomorrow, Scotty assigned a computer course to him and told him that was his job for the next two days. He also told the kid to make sure he got plenty of rest and not to study too long at a time.

No argument from me on that schedule. Scotty tries to take good care of his people.


	5. Stardate 2261:011

Stardate 2261.011

The communications department has been busy all morning. Don't think I've mentioned it before, but Starfleet gathers all of the personal and non-vital communications and sends them out in a data burst relay every six weeks. Farther out we go, the longer it takes to reach us, especially as it passes through the starbases between us and them for a signal boost.

Jim has Communications decompress and sort everything, then the messages are sent to the personal PADDs of the personnel they were intended for - lowest ranking going first rippling up to the Captain.


	6. Stardate 2261:014

Stardate 2261.014

Morale is all over the place now that the mail has been distributed. While I most certainly understand the need and desire for privacy, I wish there was a way to get folks who are back on Earth to think twice before sending bad news to folks who are so far away. Even more so in regards to situations where the problem is going to be long resolved before we get back from our mission.

I foresee lots of long talks over tea coming my way for the next couple of weeks until folks settle down again.


	7. Stardate 2261:016

Stardate 2261.016

Let others think what they may, I've started my petting therapy room. I monitor meal cards because they're a great indicator of when something is off. I pulled in two of the crew and asked if they felt like talking. The roundabout way they said no told me something was up, so I guided them to a private area, stuck a tribble in their hands and told them not to come back out for at least thirty minutes. Not only did both come out looking more settled, one asked if they could come back tomorrow.


	8. Stardate 2261:019

Stardate 2261.019

Met Jim and Spock for breakfast today. Jim teased me at breakfast over my tribble petting zoo. He got serious then and told me that he was giving me carte blanche for whatever I felt would help out the crew so long as it's not in violation of Starfleet regulations - which gives me a pretty large amount of leeway.

I have to admit though, more than the leeway, what made me feel good was what Jim said about being able to trust me fully with the crew's welfare. Improved my own morale without tribble intervention.


	9. Stardate 2261:022

Stardate 2261.022

We had an extremely bad case of the domino theory in action. A mild mishap in Engineering resulted in the ship getting jolted. The jolt caused Spock to lose his balance enough that he lost his grip on the experiment he was about to secure. The resulting explosion caused three other experiments to go bad. Thankfully no further explosions.

End result? I have eight patients - three, including Spock, from the labs and five mpre from other sections of the ship - no one from Engineering for once. We're fortunate none of the injured are in critical condition.


	10. Stardate 2261:025

Stardate 2261.025

Spock might not be as bad a patient as Jim is, but he was most surely working on my last nerve for awhile. Once everyone was stabilized enough that the nurses could watch over them, I had time to sit down with Spock and explain that I wasn't keeping him there due to his injuries, but because none of us - including him - know what effects there might be from breathing in the combination of chemicals that were briefly in the lab's air.

One good thing about logic? Give Spock a valid reason - he quits nagging.


	11. Stardate 2261:028

Stardate 2261.028

The feared side effects hit all three of the exposed laboratory crewmembers - extreme dizziness, nausea and pronounced perspiration. Spock was hit hardest, to the point that I had to put him on intravenous therapy to keep him hydrated. The symptoms seem to be lessening, but I'm keeping all three for another day to make sure nothing rebounds. Not getting any argument either. For once, I would have welcomed the sass.

My main problem now is keeping Jim at bay. Spock's funny about other folks seeing him sick and he doesn't need any extra stress.


	12. Stardate 2261:03

Stardate 2261.03

No recurrence of the nausea or dizziness, so I feel safe letting my remaining patients out of Sickbay, but I have recommended that none of them resume full duty status until tomorrow. I'm extremely grateful that the side effects weren't worse than they were.

I've been thinking about the lab incident and wonder some of the mayhem could have been avoided if the main lab tables had a variation of the stabilizers that Scotty designed for the biobeds. Examining the possibilities couldn't hurt, so I'll request a meeting with Spock and Scotty.


	13. Stardate 2261:033

Stardate 2261.033

Spock, Scotty and I met over lunch - or as Scotty calls it, over sandwiches. Spock pointed out that his particular part of the incident would not have been altered one way or another by table stabilization. That led to Scotty starting to debate the possibility of designating one area for volatile experiments and him working on rigging a stabilizer for that section of the deck plating.

Our end consensus was that the project would be quite involved, but well worth it in the long run. Now that we all agree, time to run our idea by Jim.


	14. Stardate 2261:035

Stardate 2261.035

Jim's given his tentative approval to the laboratory rework. He wants more details about materials needed as well as a working estimate on how long the lab would be out of service during the remodel before final approval. Since they're only talking about a section of the labs and not the whole area, there shouldn't be too much downtime.

Two things I don't doubt. One, between Spock and Scotty, a workable plan will be found. Two, Jim will approve it. He takes the loss of a crew member as badly as I do.


	15. Stardate 2261:038

Stardate 2261.038

We've reached the edge of an unexplored system. There are only five planets in orbit and Spock estimates their sun to only be half a billion years old. Pretty young,

The middle planet has given us readings that have Spock's eyebrows doing gymnastics. It's pretty close to the size of Earth's moon, but is showing to have a mass and atmosphere closer to Earth even though the planet itself is only a few thousand years old, which Spock says should be impossible. I know what that means - landing party time. Heaven help me.


	16. Stardate 2216:041

Stardate 2216.041

Unlike me, Spock really wanted to be a part of the landing party tomorrow to get a first hand look at the planet. Also unlike me, Spock is going to staying aboard the ship. This convinces me that a Higher Power really does exist and has a wicked sense of humor.

The landing party will consist of Jim, me, Sulu and our Senior Geologist D'Amato. Spock will be coordinating the comparison between the readings D'Amato sends up with the readings from our long range sensors in case something in the system is interfering with scanning.


	17. Stardate 2261:044

Stardate 2261.044

Bad isn't nearly a strong enough word for what's happened. The four of us were in position to teleport and, as Ensign Wyatt activated the panel, a woman appeared out of nowhere. She yelled something about us not going, then reached for Ensign Wyatt. That was all I saw before the teleport took us to the planet.

We had barely materialized when the planet shook with an enormous quake and threw all of us around. As if all that wasn't trouble enough, the Enterprise is no longer showing on our instruments. We're marooned.


	18. Stardate 2261:047

Stardate 2261.047

Still no idea what happened to the Enterprise. Even if she'd been attacked and blown up, we should be able to detect debris and radiation in the upper atmosphere, but nothing is showing.

Planet side, the plants here aren't only nutritionally lacking, they're poisonous to humans. There must be some sort of moisture available for these plants to be alive, but so far, we've not found so much as a drop. I have items in my medkit to keep us hydrated as well as some nutrient supplements, but those won't last long.


	19. Stardate 2261:049

Stardate 2261.049

Jim ordered a six hour rest period with he, Sulu and D'Amato each taking two hour watches. I questioned why I wasn't in the rotation, but Jim said that he wanted me clear headed since they were all relying on me and my medkit to keep everyone healthy until we located food and water or the Enterprise returned.

I have no idea how long I was asleep when a scream startled me awake. I saw Jim and Sulu near me, so we knew it was D'Amato. He was already dead when we found him.


	20. Stardate 2261:052

Stardate 2261.052

We managed to bury D'Amato. More of a case of piling stones over his body, which Jim said seemed appropriate for a geologist. My sincere hope is it's the only grave we leave here.

Sulu spotted the same woman we saw on the Enterprise - she barely touched him, but damaged his shoulder to a ridiculous degree so it's a safe bet she was the one that killed D'Amato. We don't know where she comes and goes from yet, but wherever that is? That's our only chance for long-term survival here.


	21. Stardate 2261:055

Stardate 2261.055

The woman appeared again. She calls herself Commander Losira, but never answered Jim regarding what she was Commander of. Her focus was on getting to Jim, but Sulu and I were able to block her from reaching him. After what happened to his shoulder, took a lot of nerve for Sulu to get anywhere near her today.

As to what she is? I get no life readings or mechanical readings. I would have said she was an image, but she's solid, she speaks and she responds to what we say. We need to find her hideaway.


	22. Stardate 2261058

Stardate 2261.058

We finally found the hidden area. Nobody's been alive here for a long, long time - everything's been happening due to a centuries old computer is reacting to a perceived threat - us. It had already caused the destruction of our phasers due to overload, so we didn't have anything left to fight with.

Spock couldn't have timed it better since we were boxed in with no options left. I guess another species appearing threw the computer's programming, but for whatever reason, Spock was able to destroy the computer before it wrecked his phaser.


	23. Stardate 2261:06

Stardate 2261.06

Just finished the surgery needed on Sulu's shoulder. Now that the necrotized flesh has been removed, we've got him under a regenerator. I believe three days of short sessions interspersed with massage and therapy will do the trick.

One thing that happened before we left was a message played that had been left by Commander Losira. Spock believes that the computer programming became muddled over the years - Losira's program to greet the colonists mixed with the program to defend the planet against intruders and that's what led to the odd attacks against us.


	24. Stardate 2261:063

Stardate 2261.063

Jim was insistent that, other than overseeing Sulu's treatment, I take the day off after everything that went on while we were stuck on what he's calling the Ghost Planet. I agreed to it on the condition that he also take the day off since he went through the same things I had. He got that put upon look of his when Spock sided with me on the matter. Really, Jim should know better by now.

I wonder what will happen to the planet now that the computer that had been maintaining it is gone.


	25. Stardate 2261:066

Stardate 2261.066

Sulu's treatment is going better than I expected. He'll be terrorizing folks with his fencing lessons again in no time. It helped that he was in excellent shape before the injury.

Still don't know how that computer caused that cellular disruption and I wish I did so that I could figure away to protect against it, if possible. Sure, that computer's out of commission, but if there's one thing we've learned, it's that nothing is truly unique in the universe. Run into something once, you might run into it again.


	26. Stardate 2261:068

Stardate 2261.068

I've cleared Sulu to return to his navigator duties with the stipulation that he is not cleared for any landing party duties yet. I also told him that if I caught him doing anything to aggravate his shoulder before he finishes his full course of therapy that I'll not only put him on restricted duty again, I'll have him on bed rest so fast that he won't know what hit him.

Nobody warned me when I signed up that a CMO's job is fifty percent actual doctoring and fifty percent baby sitting.


	27. Stardate 2261:071

Stardate 2261.071

A year ago, I was regaining consciousness after the incident where we lost Lieutenant Aronica as well as the Copernicus.

Today is a lot calmer. Continuing Sulu's therapy and reearching the damaged tissue taken from Sulu. Watkins and Wyatt's bodies are also still with us. I've been trying to figure out how to word the report, but even Spock is at a loss to explain how a computer projected an image that killed three men and injured another simply by touching them. And for what? To defend the outpost of a long dead race.


	28. Stardate 2261:074

Stardate 2261.074

Christine and I are figuring out our schedules. Since things are quiet at the moment, we may as well get the annual physical for Medical personnel out of the way. Besides, since it's been a year since myself, Yelton, Chbosky and Mayamoto were exposed to that odd gas, it's time for another checkup on possible long-term effects. Not that any of us have exhibited any symptoms, but I'd far rather err on the side of caution when dealing with new substances. If something odd does start happening, I want to catch it early.


	29. Stardate 2261:076

Stardate 2261.076

Figures - when I think we might have some time to catch up on a few things, we have orders head to Cerberus, a colony world known for having a first class boarding school. Said boarding school is suffering from a disease outbreak bordering on epidemic - which is why they want the Enterprise and, more specifically, me there. The disease is presenting as one similar to one I wrote a dissertation on - I had encountered it during my first year as a full-fledged doctor. Hope it proves an easier nut to crack than the other one did.


	30. Stardate 2261:079

Stardate 2261.079

I was pulled into a meeting today with Jim and Spock. I warned Jim that we are looking at around a month minimum for me and my staff to get the disease under control. Jim wasn't too concerned as the Enterprise has been given a task that will keep them busy in the meantime. Seems that the last time the system Cerberus is in was surveyed, it was prior to the new generation of scanning equipment, so they're going to be updating all the records while staying close enough to call if I need something.


	31. Stardate 2261:082

Stardate 2261.082

Today was spent going over plans with my staff. We should arrive at Cerberus tomorrow and, from communications received from them earlier, they will have a sterile room set up for us to beam into. Both Christine and Paquita Lopez are excellent research assistants, but I need one of them to man the computers up here for me.

Paquita hasn't had a lot of Away Team experience, so she'll be coming with me and Christine will keep things running here. Besides, Christine's not afraid to tell Jim to his face when he needs something.


	32. Stardate 2261:085

Stardate 2261.085

Despite the assurances of a clean area, I made the call that Lopez and I would beam down in full biohazard gear. I'm glad we erred on the side of caution because it is quite obvious that they didn't take enough factors into consideration - such as air borne pathogens. No wonder the disease spread so quickly.

We made a quick inventory. Christine gathered what was lacking and made sure the equipment we needed was beamed down. Once we can get our area set up and sanitized to the proper levels, we can begin our work.


	33. Stardate 2261:088

Stardate 2261.088

Today's work mostly revolved around setting up quarantine areas for the most seriously ill. Last thing these kids need is for someone to sneeze near them when their immune systems are already overloaded. I need to do autopsies to verify it, but I'm pretty sure that was what killed the two who have died so far - the introduction of one more germ than their bodies could deal with.

The parents of these kids should throw a fit. The school has a few retired nurses, but not a single resident doctor on the whole damn planet.


	34. Stardate 2261:09

Stardate 2261.09

Coordinating with Jim to see about the feasibility of getting two more of my staff down here to assist - preferably more. Another doctor, two nurses and a couple of interns would be ideal, but at least another nurse and two or three people to do grunt work are needed. There are flat out too many patients for myself and Lopez to attend do while researching the disease. The retired nurses really are doing their best, but they've been handling everything by themselves until now and are exhausted. A little uninterrupted sleep would do them all wonders.


	35. Stardate 2261:093

Stardate 2261.093

Heard from Scotty during my rest period and he said that, while the Enterprise is on surveying duty, Jim has given permission for the stabilization work to commence in the labs.

On the other good news side, I've been allotted another nurse, two interns, one of Spock's researchers, three junior Security and two yeomen to lend a hand. Put all of them straight to work, then ordered the three resident nurses to go on bed rest for twelve hours. They aren't doing anyone any good when they're in danger of collapsing from exhaustion.


	36. Stardate 2261:096

Stardate 2261.096

We have three patients in critical condition. Now that they've had some rest, I've got the three resident nurses assigned to them on a one-to-one basis. Much as I'd like to devote more time to the patients myself, the way I can help them best is to find a way around this disease.

Regarding the disease itself, it does have some similarities to the other one I encountered, but there are some distinct differences. Still, it does appear that this is a related strain - like how the flu virus developed different strains.


	37. Stardate 2261:098

Stardate 2261.098

Taking a moment to record this before grabbing a nap. In a move that might be close to mutiny, Lopez threatened to sedate me if I don't get some rest. Can't really argue, I suppose - not when I've already ordered some of the others to sleep.

It doesn't feel like we're making headway against this disease, but we're narrowing it down. The one-on-one coverage on the worst cases has worked well. In fact, I believe one of the children is out of danger. We'll know for sure tomorrow.


	38. Stardate 2261:101

Stardate 2261.101

I got some sleep if not actual rest Still, it has helped with my concentration so I guess Lopez is safe from a mutiny charge.

If I sound like my spirits are brighter, they are. Our young patient is definitely starting to improve. Until her immune system is back up, her susceptibility to other diseases is the biggest danger to her now, so she'll have to remain in a sterile environment until she's stronger.

Even better, I think Lieutenant Walsh has found our disease carrier. A few more tests and we'll know for sure.


	39. Stardate 2261:104

Stardate 2261.104

Lieutenant Walsh was correct. The culprit is a ridiculously small flying insect that's not even native to Cerberus. Best guess is that the little buggers and the disease both came here by way of a cargo ship that didn't take decontamination procedures seriously enough. Since the insect isn't a native, it has no natural predators here and has been multiplying like wildfire. Since we can officially classify it as an invasive species, we'll aim toward eradicating them.

Waiting on lab results, but I think we're well on our way to a cure.


	40. Stardate 2261:106

Stardate 2261.106

The results from the testing are positive and we've gotten past the trickiest part of figuring out the proper dosage to kill the virus without harming the patients. It's going to take a series of five treatments so we're far from finished, but with the combination of starting to eradicate the carrier insects, administering a vaccine to those who haven't been infected yet and treating those already ill, we look good to stop this in its tracks.

Lopez is insisting I take another nap. I think Chapel's been giving her sass lessons.


	41. Stardate 2261:109

Stardate 2261.109

The last of the vaccines are being administered today along with the second treatment round for those already infected. We had two new cases overnight, but that's a dramatic drop from what the numbers had been. The latest patients will be starting the first round of treatments - hopefully they won't have to go through as severe a set of symptoms as the others have.

The incubation time on this disease is five days. If we can make it five days with no new cases, we'll be on the way to getting this under control.


	42. Stardate 2261:112

Stardate 2261.112

No new cases today. As Lopez pointed out, hard to tell if that's because we're catching a break or because so many already have it. Still, one day of no new outbreaks is a positive however you look at it. Another of our critical patients has begun to show signs of improvement.

We're making sure all the caregivers are getting rest and food, but they're all flat worn out and have every reason to be. The ratio is still around twenty patients per caregiver - counting the non-medical folks that are pitching in.


	43. Stardate 2261:115

Stardate 2261.115

Busy day. I had to leave the patients in the care of the nurses while I underwent decontamination procedures to beam back aboard and take care of Jim. The ship's dietician either forgot or ignored my memo that the only one allowed to approve alterations to the Captain's meal card is me.

After I finish yelling, I'm going through and locking the meal cards of all the crew with known allergy problems and lock them to where I'm the only one that can make additions to them period. We were lucky this time.


	44. Stardate 2261:117

Stardate 2261.117

Didn't have to yell at the dietitian, only needed to clarify a few things. Mainly the fact that just because something isn't on Jim's list of things he's allergic to, that doesn't mean it's safe. Culprit turned out to be diced fruit covered in a mixed fruit juice syrup. The fruits were fine, but one of the juices that went into the fruit syrup wasn't.

Went ahead and made those changes to the meal cards and I'm about to head back down to the planet. No new cases - hallelujah.


	45. Stardate 2261:12

Stardate 2261.12

Third day now of no new cases, so I'm cautiously optimistic. Even better, we now have no patients in critical status and everyone being treated is showing signs of improvement.

Jim gave permission for some additional crew members to be vaccinated and tey will be coming down starting tomorrow to help with the process of cleaning up and decontaminating the school. I had a long talk with the school administration earlier and I believe I have them convinced of the wisdom of getting a doctor on the premises. I hope they follow through with hiring one.


	46. Stardate 2261:123

Stardate 2261.123

Fourth day with no new outbreaks. Spock and his team are checking to see how the program for eradicating the insects is working. He's also been pulling shipping records to trace back which transport was responsible for the insect infestation. Once that's determined, we can send out warnings to any other colonies that they've visited. Their license to transport goods is also likely to be revoked until they can show compliance with Federation safety measures.

I imagine there will also be some hefty fines in their future or worse since there are deaths involved.


	47. Stardate 2261:125

Stardate 2261.125

We did it. We've hit the five day mark with no new cases, so we've turned the corner. Also, for the first time since our arrival, the healthy outnumber those still needing care. In fact, things are looking good enough that today, Lopez and I are going to go through decontamination to go back aboard the Enterprise and get a full measure of sleep in our own beds for the first time since we arrived. Hard to believe what a luxury that sounds like, but from the smile Lopez has, she feels the same way.


	48. Stardate 2261:128

Stardate 2261.128

While a good night's sleep back in my own bed did wonders for me, Lopez caught something from her possibly former male friend. Not going to go into details, but I doubt he's going to convince her that it was something he picked up from sitting near someone else. She is a nurse, after all. Good thing her presence on the planet isn't vital now and she can stay on the Enterprise for treatment.

The sickrooms on Cerberus are emptying almost as fast as they filled. We should be able to leave here soon.


	49. Stardate 2261:131

Stardate 2261.131

We've reached the point where the school can start taking care of itself again. Today, we're finishing up a few clean-up jobs and Spock's team is combing the area for what is hopefully the last of those insects.

The school administrators have requested a short ceremony tomorrow to thank us and Jim, darn him, agreed. I dread the thought of having to endure a bunch of political style handshaking after all this, but hopefully it will be over quickly. There will be four of us representing the Enterprise - me, Jim, Uhura and Chekov.


	50. Stardate 2261:134

Stardate 2261.134

Today, the transporter made the shuttles look good. There was an ion storm breaking out as we were leaving Cerberus and now? We're on an Enterprise, but not our Enterprise. This has got to be one of those alternative realities that future Spock told Jim about. Sure wish that one of the things that old coot had mentioned was how the hell to get back where we belong.

We're trying not to stick out, but who knows how our counterparts act here? Jim's working on hacking into our personnel records from the CMO office.


	51. Stardate 2261:136

Stardate 2261.136

It didn't take long for this Spock to figure out we aren't from here and he's been ruthless since then. He demonstrated to the others that anything they do or say that he doesn't like will result in me being punished. He's allowed my arm to be reset, but not mended. He also has my medkit, so there's nothing I can do about easing the pain. Jim and Nyota are currently in the Brig. Pavel is working with this Scotty to figure out how to reverse this. The sooner, the better.


	52. Stardate 2261:139

Stardate 2261.139

Things here are going from bad to worse. Nyota was attacked today - four to one odds, but she acquitted herself well until Spock got there and stopped it. She's bruised and justifiably paranoid now, but thankfully nothing worse than that. Pavel is about to working himself into a state of exhaustion, but if I were able to help with that project, I can't say that I wouldn't be doing the exact same thing.

I wish this Spock would let me see Jim. I wish even more that he'd stay out of my head.


	53. Stardate 2261:142

Stardate 2261.142

Not sure why, but this Spock seems intrigued by the reason that we were at Cerberus. Apparently even though both Enterprises were orbiting the same planet, their reasons for being there were completely different. His interrogation started after he referred my sister and I informed him that I was an only child.

I still haven't been allowed to see Jim - I hope he's alright. I'm so damn tired, but even if Spock would finally leave me alone for a couple of hours, I don't think my arm would let me get any rest.


	54. Stardate 2261:144

Stardate 2261.144

Spock took me to see Pavel today, but not for anything good. I had the choice of administering stimulants to him myself or being forced to watch as those harpies disguised as nurses did it instead. No choice at all really, so I apologized to him after I got the hypospray ready. Took longer than usual since I'm limited to working one handed.

Spock didn't care for the delay, but I think hitting me was more show for Pavel than punishment for me. Last thing I heard was Pavel swearing we'd be home soon.


	55. Stardate 2261:147

Stardate 2261.147

We were all herded to the Transporter, so I finally got a look at Jim. Sort of. He was hooded, which I guess was for the best because he wasn't be happy with how Nyota and Pavel look - and I doubt I look any better.

I can hear Jim talking to the other folks and yeah, he's beyond mad. But that's not the important thing. The important thing is we're home. I'm afraid it will be awhile before I'm comfortable around Spock again though. Not fair, but it's the truth.


	56. Stardate 2261:15

Stardate 2261.15

Jim has assured me that nothing happened to him other than being kept to himself - which for someone like Jim is bad enough. Only thing I found physically wrong was slight dehydration and malnourishment. Both easily dealt with.

I've removed myself, Nyota and Pavel from the remainder of this shift cycle and, much as I hate the thought of it myself, we all need to talk out what happened before being cleared for duty. Pavel's been asleep since the stimulant wore off - think he's too exhausted for nightmares. I haven't been that lucky.


	57. Stardate 2261:152

Stardate 2261.152

A quick meeting with Nyota and Pavel. We all agreed that both Jim and Spock need to be present for all of our sessions. Nyota volunteered to go first. Her main problem is resolving her feelings about the other Spock.

While she despises most of what he did, Nyota said she can't help feeling grateful that he stepped in when she was attacked. Our Spock threw her a bit when he asked if it was possible that his counterpart had set that attack in motion in order to make her feel obligated. It was a possibility.


	58. Stardate 2261:155

Stardate 2261.155

Group session, day two - I'm not going to subject myself or anyone else to marathon sessions of this. An hour or two a day is plenty.

At Nyota's request, Spock told us a little about her counterpart and what he had discovered about her relationship with his Mirror self. After listening, Nyota decided that the other Spock did likely have something to do with her attackers, which made it easier for her to settle things in her mind. She doesn't seem to have trouble keeping the two Spocks separate in her mind. Lucky lady.


	59. Stardate 2261:158

Stardate 2261.158

Day three. Pavel felt like talking today. The other Spock had absolutely terrified him. He said that it would have been different if that Spock had been angry or trying to punish us over an infraction, but seeing Spock grab me - snapping my arm for no reason other than to demonstrate how serious he was - really shook him. Pavel was terrified of what Spock would do to me next if he ever actually _was_ angry.

That was the first Jim and Spock heard the story behind how my arm got broken. Neither of them took it well.


	60. Stardate 2261:16

Stardate 2261.16

Today I talked some about what happened with me. Spock hadn't taken the broken arm story well, but he was absolutely mortified that his counterpart went into my head without permission. Said that's an offense along the same lines as murder to Vulcans.

Spock practically demanded that Jim head for the Vulcan colony. He wants me to be examined by Vulcan doctors to make sure no permanent damages were done. Jim used his discretion as a Captain to rule this a medical emergency and told the Helm to lay in a course for the colony.


	61. Stardate 2261:163

Stardate 2261.163

Jim spoke today, talking about the frustration of being isolated with no idea of what might have been happening to the rest of us. Once our group session broke up, he stayed behind to speak with me. He's always had a good eye for when something is bothering me.

I admitted that I thought us going to the Vulcan colony was a bit extreme. Jim pointed out that Spock knew far more about this meld stuff than we did, so that if he was concerned, we should get it checked out. Couldn't argue that point.


	62. Stardate 2261:166

Stardate 2261.166

We'll get to the Vulcan colony tomorrow. Spock asked to have a word with me and just from my reaction, I know now that he's right. I do need to have this looked at. Even knowing which Spock I'm with and knowing I don't have to be afraid of him, I'm still uneasy.

The only thing that really gives me hope is that Spock not only thinks my current reactions to him are completely understandable, he's also stated that he's impressed that my reactions aren't worse than they are.


	63. Stardate 2261:169

Stardate 2261.169

We entered orbit this morning and I beamed down with Jim and Spock shortly thereafter. I felt like a new exhibit being put on display at a zoo.

So far, things aren't going well. Apparently my underlying paranoia covers all Vulcans, not only Spock. The other-other Spock - the one from the other future and not from the mirror present - is supposed to arrive tomorrow and see if he can assist.

Absolutely no offense meant to the elder Spock, but three Spocks are two Spocks too many for me to process with any degree of sanity.


	64. Stardate 2261:17

Stardate 2261.17

Spent most of the day one on one with the older Spock. Took me awhile to get to him calling me Leonard like we were friends. He has a comfort level with me that I don't have with him. Curiosity got the better of me and I asked about his McCoy. Turns out that Spock can really spin a yarn.

He also noted that I hadn't been sleeping and offered to help me get some rest. I'm not sure exactly how he managed it, but it was my first nightmare free sleep in days.


	65. Stardate 2261:174

Stardate 2261.174

I had another long talk with the older Spock after we had breakfast. I'm not completely sold on the idea, but after hearing his reasons, I've agreed to have Jim and our Spock present for the meld.

I voiced my concern about this being too much for him, but he waved aside my worry saying it would be harder on me than him. Not exactly a comforting statement. Older Spock is bringing Jim and Spock in now to explain everything to them, then he wants me to get in one more good sleep before beginning.


	66. Stardate 2261:177

Stardate 2261.177

I can see why he insisted I needed one more night of decent rest. Before we started, he made the comparison that this is the mental equivalent of having to rebreak a bone that began healing incorrectly. Jim will be supporting me and the two Spocks will be working together.

If anything, older Spock understated how much this procedure would hurt and we're only at step one. I'm not convinced it isn't as bad on him as me though. I was under the impression that it took a lot to make a Vulcan cry.


	67. Stardate 2261:18

Stardate 2261.18

Before we started the next session, I asked the older Spock what had upset him yesterday. He glanced to our Spock and Jim and, for a minute, I didn't think he was going to answer me. Then he gave a small nod as if deciding something and told me that it was due to guilt. Some members of his own crew - including his McCoy - had also gone to a hostile Mirror Universe. Looking back, he regretted he had not taken the steps that our Spock had to insure that his doctor hadn't suffered lingering effects.


	68. Stardate 2261:182

Stardate 2261.182

I believe this experience is turning out to be as beneficial to the older Spock as it is for me. After listening to another story, I told him if the other McCoy was really anything like me, he'd be fussing at Spock about feeling like he'd let his doctor down.

He looked like he was holding back a smile when he laid a hand on my shoulder and said there seemed to be some universal constants to every Leonard. He might not have meant that as a compliment, but I'll take it as one.


	69. Stardate 2261:185

Stardate 2261.185

Something is up. I have no clue what, but I keep catching glances of our Spock watching me. Like I watch Jim, waiting for something to happen. I've even caught Spock looking like he was about to speak to me, but he never says anything.

I've grown comfortable talking to older Spock mentally during our sessions and asked him if he'd noticed anything himself. He confirmed that I wasn't imagining things. He also said our work together should be finished with tomorrow's session. I'm going to miss spending time with him.


	70. Stardate 2261:188

Stardate 2261.188

I arrived a bit early for my last session and walked in on the two Spocks talking softly, but intently. The expressions on their faces that they quickly masked when they realized I was in the room made me wary - then older Spock cancelled our final session saying that he was in need of some very deep meditations that couldn't be put off.

I'm wondering could be so urgent that it can't be pushed back one day to get this over with. The way both Spocks were looking at me wasn't reassuring either.


	71. Stardate 2261:191

Stardate 2261.191

I was sitting with Jim telling him about the odd behavior of the two Spocks yesterday when a call came from older Spock. Not asking for me, but asking to meet with Jim over something urgent. Jim was frowning when he left and I could tell he was trying to figure out if this had anything to do with what we were just talking about.

There's this nagging feeling in the back of my head that this concerns me somehow. Maybe I'm being unduly paranoid, but unfortunately, I don't think that's the case.


	72. Stardate 2261:193

Stardate 2261.193

I knew it wasn't good when I went into the room and saw Jim plus both Spocks waiting on me. I knew it was really bad by the way Jim held onto me like he thought I was going to disappear. Then our Spock talked about the conversation he'd had with my counterpart. I have to admit I blanked out a lot of what was said after the mention of xenopolycythemia and the news that I have it. Which means I'm dying.

Thankfully, older Spock noticed I couldn't deal with more right then.


	73. Stardate 2261:196

Stardate 2261.196

I needed time to adjust to the news, but now I'm sitting with Jim attached to my side like a limpet as our Spock talks and the older Spock listens as our Spock - all these Spocks all still confusing as hell to talk about - talks about there being a cure to the disease that was passed to him by the other McCoy - equally confusing to talk about.

Anyway, the cure means I go through what Jim went through - including dying. That explains Jim's clinginess, but it doesn't explain the eyebrow reaction from older Spock.


End file.
